6 Steps: Reset and Recalibrate

What has it been like for you these last two weeks? Are you sitting with mixed emotions? In the whole scheme of things, many of us have never lived through a pandemic before- we have to adjust and stretch in ways we never thought. 

So how do we reset and recalibrate? We have to be self-compassionate- spend time with ourselves and understand what’s happening within. 

For many of us, meditation is tough and we need something more structured, so this exercise provides a foundation to go within, understand what is happening, and to give some self-compassion and clarity as to what we need to do next. 

Here are the six steps to reset and recalibrate:

Step 1: Put your thoughts and judgments on paper.

Some therapists call this a brain dump, but it’s the idea that you put everything that is in your mind on paper. Give yourself two minutes and clear your mind and vent. 

Step 2: Observe what is happening from a birds-eye view.

Once you’ve put our judgments on paper, it’s helpful to write down the facts. It helps remove the emotion from what you’re experiencing and to see your situation from a birds-eye view.

Step 3: Fully sense your feelings. 

Your feelings are a doorway to allow you to feel what is alive in you and what’s important to you. There is no such thing as a good or bad feeling- they are just comfortable or uncomfortable.

In the practice of self-empathy, you permit yourself to feel your feelings and emotions fully. Take a look at this worksheet here and ask yourself which ones are you experiencing at this moment. 

Allow yourself to recognize where your feelings sit in your body and describe them. 

Permit yourself to normalize your feelings because EVERYONE HAS THEM!

Your feelings will be the doorway to your needs and what might be missing in your life. 

Step 4: Fully sense your needs.

We are a society that ignores needs. Our needs are qualities that we all share in common such as connection, physical well-being, honesty, peace, safety, security, play, peace, autonomy, and meaning. These are the qualities that allow us to feel alive, important, and meaningful to us.

During this time of COVID-19 and social distancing, your needs may have shifted. Take a look at this worksheet here, what are your met and unmet needs at this moment? 

A big part of self-empathy is to recognize and honor your needs because you realize what is important to you and where you might need to make some shifts or changes.

Step 5: Giving yourself positive affirmations.

A big part of self-empathy is giving yourself the messages you need to hear that are supportive and loving. These messages are free of judgments, “shoulds”, and demands.

They might sound like, “You’ve got this.”, “I trust myself.”, “I’m on my journey.”

Just try saying a few to yourself and notice what happens. 

We can only make changes and shifts when we have supportive and loving messages are behind it. 

Step 6. Come up with a strategy.

And now that you’ve down the work to reset and recalibrate, you are ready to come up with a strategy. 

The strategy will come quickly at this point because you are in touch with your needs at the deepest level and given yourself the support to take action. 

Whether your strategy is a request of yourself, someone else, or something you need to do, it’s going to come from a place of alignment because you’re in touch with yourself. 

And if you would like to practice self-empathy with me, I’ll be hosting a free virtual workshop on Friday, April 3rd, from 6:00-7:15 AM MST, 8:00-9:15 EST. Please click here to access the Zoom link or call +16468769923,,4950069639#.

Parents, help foster children’s career skills

Parents, help foster children’s career skills

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10 p.m. MDT October 23, 2014

If you’re a parent, you’ve likely wondered what you can do to foster career success for your children, even from an early age.

You don’t want to meddle too much, but you don’t want to leave them unprepared either — at least that’s how I’ve thought about it. Danielle Menditch, a career counselor with Career Pioneer Network, specializes in guiding families and children toward career readiness. She suggests these strategies:

• Set up chores and allowance for elementary-age children, and pay them what a neighbor would pay for the same work.

Also consider having your kids buy their own discretionary items they want — such as the latest Xbox — so they learn how their work translates into actual purchases.

• When they’re in high school, focus on helping children build work skills.

In addition to part-time and volunteer jobs, find ways to include your son or daughter in your career, such as talking about your work as a part of family discussions.

One lawyer dad who can’t breach his clients’ confidentiality will say things like, “I work with couples who no longer feel as if they can live together, and they have problems like figuring out who will take care of the family pets. What would you tell them to do?”

• If it’s appropriate for your family, talk about what you earn to demystify finances and draw comparisons.

One parent helped her daughter calculate how many hours she’d have to work to pay for volleyball lessons if she was employed as a social worker, as compared to working as doctor. Expose your children to how certain jobs would pay for real-world living expenses.

Said Menditch, “When I was in high school, $30,000 in salary sounded like so much money until my parents showed me on Craigslist what it would cost to rent an apartment and how much our grocery bill was each week.”

Menditch is giving a free talk on this topic from noon to 1 p.m. Nov. 6. For more information, contact her at danielle@careerpioneernetwork.com.

Katy Piotrowski, M.Ed., is the author of “The Career Coward’s Guides” and provides career and job search support with Career Solutions Group in Fort Collins. Reach her at (970) 224-4042 or katy@careersolutionsgroup.net.