Why I Want You to Write a Love Letter this Valentine’s Day

I want you to write a love letter to yourself this Valentine’s Day. Why? Because you deserve it.

How often do you acknowledge yourself and how wonderful you are? How often do you demonstrate self-love?

If you’re anything like me, I’m sure it’s easy to forget.

This morning, I sat down and wrote myself a love letter. I was surprised because it was partially a list of character traits I was grateful for and a list of changes I want for myself- to be more present, to be less future focused, to enjoy the moment. I was surprised how much I appreciate myself for my wisdom, intuition, and big heart. As I wrote all of these things down, I felt my heart grow bigger and felt a lot of self-compassion.

If you can give any gift to yourself this Valentine’s Day, write yourself a love letter. Sit down, and put your heart, your mind, and your soul into it and see what comes up.

And if it’s hard to write yourself a love letter, do it for someone else. It’s easy to buy chocolates or flowers on this holiday, but it’s much harder to open up and be vulnerable.

So give this a try. Let me know how it goes.

Happy Valentines Day!

Love (because I have a ton of it to give),

My Rebrand

With the arrival of fall, change is in the air! I’ve noticed that many of my clients have been making major changes in their lives, whether it be internal such as mindset shifts or external such as changing careers. I’ve also been making some major changes including selling my home, moving into an apartment downtown, rebranding my […]

Why You Should Pray Even if No One is Listening

I promise you this article is not going to get religious on you. There are so many reasons people pray —perhaps they want change, to receive something, connection to God, forgiveness, healing or something else.

I personally like to pray during life transitions. Not because I think there is someone listening, but it’s a meditative act to help me get crystal clear on my wants, needs and deepest desires. In turn, I’m listening to myself.

I began praying several years ago during a major life transition. I wasn’t sure that anyone was listening or that my prayers would be answered, but I knew I needed another outlet.

I tried different methods of praying such as putting my hands to my forehead where my third eye would be activated, my palms to my heart, kneeling, walking, and the list goes on…

I found myself asking for so many things to change and then I felt guilty because I thought that I should only be asking for things that are selfless.

I thought I should give up because prayer didn’t seem to work and then I decide to push my judgement aside—I realized that prayer was a power tool to help me realize what I want. If I didn’t put any expectation or how prayer should look or the outcome I should receive, the power in itself was my clarity.

In a society where we are given messages through media that we don’t know what we want and we need material things to fulfill ourselves, our true desires get muddled.

Clarity in itself is such a powerful gift.

Prayer is the tool in which I can look into myself and see where I can take action or who I can receive help from to make a needed change.

If you are in any life transition and need clarity, try praying. Worse comes to worse, it doesn’t work for you and you try something else.

You Can Make a Difference!

make-a-differenceWhen you were a kid, what difference did you want to make on the world? Was it to feed the poor… save suffering animals… fight for equal rights?

Do you remember that distinct moment you felt like you couldn’t make a difference? When you felt your impact was very insignificant?

I remember as a child, I wanted to make everyone feel included. It didn’t matter what clique they were in, I just wanted to get to know them. I didn’t care about color, gender, race or ability because I was motivated by unconditional acceptance and connection.

I also remember the day I felt I couldn’t make a difference. It was when I was in the 6th grade and this boy called me a lesbian as a way to make me feel bad about myself. I didn’t understand the meaning of lesbian, but I felt excluded, different and unworthy.

Over the last week, I’ve been sitting on a committee evaluating grant proposals submitted by youth to fund an initiative that would make an impact on their local community. It’s been inspiring to read the about the perseverance of these youth to achieve their goals! Several of the applications shared that if they didn’t receive the grant, they would find other ways to secure the funding.

It made me realize that sometimes the only thing holding me back from making the impact or legacy is myself and my limiting beliefs; similar to the way I felt when that boy called me a lesbian in the 7th grade.

When we believe we cannot make an impact or have a career that can be meaningful, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

In order to make that impact, we’ll have to try different things or adjust our plan (such as changing careers) in order to persevere. We’ll also have to get in touch with our inner-child when we believed we could make a difference.

Next Tuesday, June 28th from 7-9:30 PM MST, I’m hosting a small group workshop, Career Impact, Legacy and Footprint. For a nominal cost of $36.00, you’ll get crystal clear on the legacy and impact you want to leave on this world and gain a better understanding of how your career fits into the picture. It’s going to be awesome!!!  To learn more and register, click here.

I hope to see you there!

What’s Really Holding Your Career Back

banner-1005546_640I remember I was interviewing at a Fortune 500 Company over 5 years ago and they asked, “What is your biggest weakness?” As a career coach, I’ve given a lot of thought to this question because I work with mid-level professionals who want to advance their career.

The purpose of this article isn’t to share how to answer this interview question, but to provide insight to what’s really holding your career back.

We often think that our weaknesses hold us back and define them as as the need for skill improvement or overcoming a personality flaw.

The reality is that we often can take classes to improve our skills and find ways to compensate for our personality flaws. What we often don’t think about that really holds us back is our behavioral patterns. A behavioral pattern is a recurring way of acting or reacting toward a given situation.

For example, I had client who was a mid-level manager for a large company and wanted to move up. He took a lot of classes to improve his skills and learned how to compensate for his personality flaw of being a perfectionist.

However, he failed to explore his behavioral patterns which were really holding his career back. We learned that he would often back down and not speak up during any situation he perceived as confrontational. This helped his career because he was perceived by others as agreeable.

However, when my client received feedback from his supervisor, we learned that his lack of speaking up hindered his career because he rarely advocated for his advancement and was viewed by upper-level management as unable to make difficult decisions for his team.

By exploring his behavioral patterns, we were able to modify them to his advantage and strategize ways for him to receive support.

If you are looking to advance your career, here are 3 mindsets you have to adopt in order to change your behavioral patterns and advance your career:

Mindset #1: I cannot do it alone:

If you want to explore your behavioral patterns, the first step is to receive support from others. How we perceive ourselves is very different than how others perceive us which is why it’s important to hire a talented coach or therapist. A talented coach or therapist can help us identify how others see us and change our behaviors by using mirroring exercises.

Think of hiring a coach or therapist as an investment in your career development. The best leaders in the world understand they cannot do it alone and need others to compensate for their shortcomings. That’s why they hire executive coaches, search for mentors and have a board of directors guiding them.

It’s time to do that for yourself.

Mindset #2: I’m ready to dig deep:

Understand that exploring both our positive and negative behavioral patterns can be painful, yet it can be enlightening. Know that this is not a superficial process and the outcome can be some major life changes that help you for the better.

If you can view getting to know yourself like getting to know someone new, it can be fun and interesting.

Mindset #3: I’m ready for change:

If you are ready to take your career to the next level, prepare to make changes both internally and externally.

It’s not going to be easy. If anything, it may be one of the most difficult endeavors; however, the reward  both personally and professionally is worth it.

I always encourage clients to think back about the positive changes they have made in the past and how it has helped their future. It’s important to reconnect with these memories, especially when you get discouraged.

Lastly, this process of changing our behaviors is an evolution- just like our career. When we start making the internal changes, the external circumstances have to change in order to match it.