Pain vs. Suffering

People often ask about my pain, and while well-meaning, these conversations can intensify what I’m trying to manage. The more I discuss my health challenges, the more they consume me.

Recently, I’ve been working with a spiritual counselor, Vince, who’s helping me distinguish between pain and suffering. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice.

Spiritual teacher Tara Brach explains that pain multiplied by resistance equals suffering. Pain signals something wrong; suffering is how the mind reacts.

For me, pain might be a migraine or the discomfort of my port catheter. Suffering is dwelling on it or constantly talking about my condition. Vince encourages me to limit my suffering to 30 minutes a day—journaling or confiding in a friend—before moving on. This keeps suffering from taking over my life.

This concept applies to more than just health challenges. We all face professional pain—job loss, disappointment, uncertainty. The emotional pain is real, but suffering can be managed.

I advise my clients to limit their suffering to 30 minutes of journaling or venting, then shift to constructive action. It makes the emotional toll more manageable.

So, whether you’re dealing with career, health, or relationship challenges: How much of what you’re experiencing is pain, and how much is suffering? Try limiting your suffering to 30 minutes a day. You might find it helps you focus on making positive changes.

You've got this!

Danielle

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